All educators know we need to build relationships. All educators believe we build relationships. All educators are correct – relationships are always being built and/or influenced! The key is: what kind of relationship is being built? Is it one of trust or suspicion? Once built, how is it being influenced? Is it being reinforced or newly defined?
I’ve been in and heard about countless conversations over my quarter century in education where the term building relationships isn’t clearly defined. A lack of clarity can lead to confusion, frustration, and cause damage to the relationships among the adults engaged in the conversation. Oversimplified, that convo may go like this:
Adult 1: You need to build relationships with our kids.
Adult 2 or Team: We do!
Adult 1: No, you don’t. You need to get to know our kids.
Adult 2 or Team: We do!
Adult 1: You need to do it better.
Adult 2 or Team: How?
By this time, emotions can be on edge and escalating, so the conversation doesn’t go much further. I propose a contemporary definition that may be able to provide clearer guidance in building relationships. I propose we mimic Artifical Intelligence! Ads, shows, and travel destinations are intuitively suggested to us – because AI is listening! AI is reading us, noticing our preferences, and asking prodding questions. It serves us as best it can in the moment, while continuously considering feedback to become even more adaptive. It wants to engage in any and all opportunities. It wants to get to know us as best it can so it can most effectively and efficiently meet our needs. THIS is what we, as educators, must do with our kids, families, and each other if we want to effectively build relationships. Much attention is being given to how we can leverage, block, and mitigate AI in education; however, when it comes to building relationships, the sooner we can mimic Artifical Intelligence, the more human we can become in our daily interactions and support of one another.
i teach kids 